木页的木，开心的心，谜一样的人
To you M stands for “木,” to me it stands for “Mystery,” or, perhaps more appropriately, for “Miracle.” Unlike the Exodus generations whom were showered with miracles, the post Christ generations were declared to have lost the privilege of witnessing any more acts of God. Indeed, few of us have ever had supernatural experiences. However, if one looks hard enough, there are always these minuscule miracles among us at any given moment. And no matter how insignificant they may seem at first, I thank God for allowing me to see them. They are what make us feel alive and breathing. They are the very testimony of God’s existence. And befriending you has been one such infinitesimal miracle, and a very timely one for me at a time of hardship.
Before we officially met, I had seen traces of you on other people’s message boards. I remember you by that distinctive ID picture. I remember casually browsing through your profile and not having found much to see, aside from what appeared at first look to be just some run of the mill pictures of naked women.
So there I was, a passerby, who took a hasty glance at a stranger, then hurried on down the path along which I traveled. But then the stranger extended his hand. “Hello,” he smiled. I came to a stop, looked up and into his eyes, and saw kindness. Without hesitation I took the hand, strong, warm handshake, to my surprise.
He told me that he liked my article for “M,” and wondered whether I’d write him one someday. I whispered to myself, “I’d be delighted to …”
…
I am an instant gratification kind of gal. Immediately, I proceeded with this new found task. It was a little daunting at first. Your profile, your self introduction, and your articles did not piece together nicely the way Maple’s did for me. Yours is a territory so foreign, that I’d never have ventured into it on my own initiative. What kept me motivated was the privilege I felt to be allowed to enter in the first place, to roam about freely, and the amazing candidness you greeted me with.
Then something marvelous transpired. With each new discovery, I found more similarities than what I had pre-maturely dismissed as differences.
› š › š
Your writing is the reflection of a true perfectionist. Like me, you strive to be the best in everything that you are passionate about. But unlike me, you actually come close to it – so close that it becomes intimidating.
Perfection is also the word that comes to mind looking at your ID picture. In it, beauty is depicted with such chilling precision that it is almost disturbing. I believed that the man behind the ID must be harsh and lonely, till I read your essays.
You treasure all your “firsts,” your first graduate school in the
You are proud, but never harsh. I’ve read some of your correspondences with other bloggers on their message boards. You give everyone the same, uncompromised attention when they come to you, and you treat each of them with the courtesy, honesty and benevolence you think they deserve.
You are unpretentious. 你向往野兔子般的原始的爱和自由. 喜欢你的目空一切，喜欢你坐看云起的潇洒。
但看得出你也很易伤感，和我一样。你困倦之余写的诗，遮掩不出你的nostalgia. “年年岁岁花相似，岁岁年年人不同。”你总是四处游走，但你还是蛮怀旧的，很想找到永久的可以滞留的地方。
I was delighted to find someone who likes old school rappers like Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. Not a huge fan of Eminem though, partially because to me there is more “kick” in black English that gives it that unique rhythmic flow. More importantly, their works had so much life and soul in them compared to the younger generation rappers, who merely do what they do in order to be part of the "game." That song, “California Love,” that you recommended to somebody, happens to be the very first song I put on my profile. Don’t you just love Tupac and Dr. Dre?
Having said all of that, still can’t say that I understand you, or even know you as a person. To me you remain a puzzle yet to be solved, but I get this feeling that it may not even require a solution. What fascinates me is the fact that there can be so much in common between you and me, and I never would have realized this had you not extended the first sign of friendship. As you can see, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call it a miracle worth celebrating =)
但你似乎对男女间的platonic friendship很不以为然。“蓝颜知己”这个东西，应该是我离开中国以后的新名词。我不同意你的观点，that it is not the counterpart of “红颜知己。” 我希望我们的有效期可以贯穿晴天雨季，不管是“深蓝还是浅褐。”
你写东西只给你想要的人看，从不在乎有没有观众。所以这篇是给你的， for you and you alone. How to be a stranger in heaven? Heaven finds us here when the stranger says “hello.” Thank you for reaching out to me.
ps: 也许我真的该继续go for my master degree. 哎， 自己的writing真的是惭愧！
祝妹妹旅途愉快！有时候，真很遗憾，不是生活在一个城市，否则可以和妹妹经常见面，谈天说地。。。不亦快哉，呵呵：）
thanks DP. it's precious what you just wrote. and i sure hope i can live up to your ... blog. :)
but that surely doesn't matter, whether or not i live up to it. by writing this you've found the way home, even if it's just a room for one night in the forest of the little red riding hood.
i think that's what we see in this, the image of you, that girl many years ago in her little light yellow skirt, whom i bet also had a very good appetite. that's who you are, being genuine and being ME--i think that's the ultimate meaning of "M", do you agree?
cheers, and have a nice trip!
M.
看了你写的,让我想起一件事.十几年前还在上大学时,有一次去上海玩,从那里再坐火车回家.那次很不走运,坐硬座而且人巨多天巨热,(到现在那时的所有经历仍然历历在目,看来苦一点留下的记忆多一点:)).在江西某地,上来一个穿淡黄色连衣裙的女孩,正好坐在我对面.在那个周围上下左右都挤满脏兮兮且表情痛苦万状的乘客/民工/学生/走江湖者的车厢里,这个女孩如仙人一样一尘不染安然自若面带微笑一言不发.这样一个单纯洁净的形象在平时都极为少见,别说在这沙丁鱼罐头的车厢里.她三个小时之后下车.但那幅情景,却在我的记忆里永存,如同生活给我的一句禅语一般.
This is so beautifully written, so scintillating...I am deeply moved...
Freudian or Plutonic, they are both ways of expression of love, and God will give you the wisdom to distinguish them and act on them...