今年一点都不好玩儿

 

今年一点都不好玩儿这句话，是我们二女儿在90年六四的时候和我说的。我问为什么？她接着说去年多热闹啊，今年冷冷清清的。

是啊，去年的这个时候，她才上初三。 学生们吵着民.主啊,自.由啊，她们也似懂非懂。有一天，她说：“妈妈，我们同学都说你很民主，是个民主妈妈。”我就想你看，我天天很忙东跑西颠，家务事干得少，所以不唠叨。孩子的功课我也不管，都是先生管，他都是连吼带叫的。孩子小的时候，说打就打，像个暴君，所以把我给衬托的形象好了。

有一天，回到家，说起外边的游行，老二就在屋子里转起来了，一边走一边喊：“我们要民主，我们要民主，我们向爸爸要民主！”还好,没说打倒爸爸，她们也知道爸爸如果不给做饭就麻烦了。不过她很聪明啊，我就想家里没民.主，国家能民.主吗？

来到美国以后，在肯塔基的时候，我们办了个中文学校。我们还是中国人的习惯，家长总是给孩子做主。我们要去一个小学校宣传中国文化, 汀汀会画画，通常我就叫她去帮忙，她那时才上小学，我就和他妈妈说了。到了去的那一天，她妈妈说：奶奶让你去帮忙哪，她马上说：“为什么她不问我哪？”是啊，小家伙教我学民.主，人.权哪。她也是人啊。人家小狗小猫还有权呐，何况我们的孩子。以后我就注意培养自己尊敬每个人的意识了，包括小朋友。我发现，几千年大人给孩子做主的习惯已经成形了，很难改啊。

现在我在的教堂是美南浸信会的教会，是民.主管理制度。教会里很多的管理委员会，管传教的，管学习圣经的，管图书馆的，管建筑和财产的，管钱的，管厨房的，等等等等。教堂里从经费预算，到给谁念书补助，从提名谁做那项服侍，到人家转教堂，每个月都要开会，谁提议，谁附议，然后大家表决。就连要挪一笔小钱，从一个委员会到另一个委员会，都要大家表决。只见广东堂的，英文堂的参加的人都很多，可是国语堂的大陆来的很少参加，给他参议的权利都不要，嫌麻烦，还是没习惯。

在美国教会更是每个星期三都有会，提案拿出，同意的说I, 不同意地说什么（我给忘了）。刚到美国，上主日学，老师说了个什么事情，大家都说不该这样，然后有位姊妹就说：也得让人家说话啊，要不我们怎么有权说话啊，又受了一次言论自由的教育。

六四都34周年了，纪念一下。

 

[加州花坊]

回复 '林向田' 的评论 : 说得对！

[加州花坊]

回复 'elfie' 的评论 : Good to learned something like this in young age.

[加州花坊]

回复 '林向田' 的评论 : 每当人家问我为什么喜欢美国，我的回答永远是自由。

[elfie]

I was about that age, but I didn't feel bad in the summer of 1990.
There was the World Cup and I was crazy about Maradonna back then. Together with my cousin we watched every match on TV. There was not much going on in the summer of the prior year in our town. There were some protests, but they went down pretty fast. I was a middle school student so I didn't get to see anything on the street in May. When school was off, the protests were over too. My dad, by the way, also made a 180 degree turn from supporting the protests to support the crackdown when the wind turned. I loathed him even more since then. We've never been close and I thought he was an opportunist and my mother was a hero in 1989. I think she's brave and also clever, my dad was a treacherous coward. At 15 years old I already decided I must leave the country for its injustice. A 15 year old kid wasn't all blind and just wanted to have fun being a spectator. I didn't have any sympathy for the soldiers burnt or cut open, shown on TV. There was only profound fear and total disgust after viewing it: "Is this all for real? Or is it a show to try to intimidate people?" I buried that mistrust deep down in my heart towards the official rhetoric. Because all of a sudden I realized the Communist Party was a fraud and cowardice to its people. What kind of leaders are they that cheated on the young, college students? The sky fell down to me and all the reality revealed: it turned out almost everything I learned about Chinese history was revised, propaganda stuff. The famous four ancient inventions were made up. The heroes that were brandished in the textbooks were actually villains; the villains, on the other hand, were better people. Shoot, teens like me were not stupid. Summer 1989 was a good lesson for us youngsters to learn. And I took it to my heart.

[林向田]

只要谈民主总会有粉红跳出来说民主的坏处，说独裁的优势。
自由比民主更重要，中国人首先还是没有自由。