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Amazon 上一只手表的review....(搞笑)~ ZT

(2007-12-27 10:51:28) 下一个
http://www.amazon.com/IWC/dp/B000EPQG1S/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=jewelry&qid=1198097658&sr=1-8

Amazon上一只标价$204,000.00的IWC表,review 超级搞笑啊!以下是其中一部分……

...I bought one of these for a relative and I think she uses it as a collar for her cat. IWC = one happy cat.

To those of you complaining about the price and wondering how a watch could cost so much, you haven\'t given it a chance. In actuality, this watch is 45 feet tall.

Being a smart investor, I know a good bargain when I see it. For every watch you buy, you are SAVING over $30,000. I bought twenty of these puppies, which means I have saved more than $600,000!
Which is great, since I owe a lot of money and my house is about to be repo\'d.

I was going to purchase this watch, especially since it is 25% off. Most of my friends own one too. However, I saw that it did not qualify for free shipping, and I think that kills the deal.


I got this watch the other month, and I had to put my house up for a second mortgage for it. I had lots of trouble keeping up with the payments, and the bank seized my house, but at least I know what time the soup kitchen is open!

Not only does this watch tell time - which can be useful - it can actually STOP time. Yes, this watch allows you to STOP TIME. That funny-looking button on the left side of the watch allows you to gain dominion over the Fourth Dimension. What a bargain - a 200K TIME MACHINE. Don\'t be fooled by imitators - this is the REAL DEAL. Most time machines run upwards of 10-15 million - this is a steal!


Tells time a little better than my 3 other Rolex watches. Doesnt make that annoying noise like Rolex. If you have extra money lying around, I recommend buying this watch. Goes well with my Ferrari Enzo and BMW M5. Thinking about getting another for my right wrist.


This watch is horrible! Do not buy it, under any circumstances! This watch ruined my life, and I\'m sure it will ruin yours too.
How did it ruin my life, you may ask me. Well, it is not due to a lack of money. The price of this watch meant nothing to me. I\'ve been in contact with so many Nigerians within the past few years and helped them so much with their uncle King Abazarujabahad-ruh that they each send me approximately $50,000,000 per month for my efforts. What did end up ruining my life, however, was the way the watch worked.
See, the watch doesn\'t work using a normally charged battery. Nor is it one of those fancy charge-as-you-move watches. No, this watch actually works at the level of your soul. Positioned at just the right distance from your hand, this watch sits flush with your soul. Every 44 hours, it has to recharge itself with your soul. It does it while you\'re sleeping, so you don\'t even notice!

You may be wondering why I wear the watch when I\'m sleeping. The answer, is that it has a self-soldering clasp on it. Once you put it on your wrist, it solders itself together, so that nobody can steal the watch from you, unless they chop off your wrist and slide it off. Unfortunately, if they do that, then they can\'t get it onto their own wrists, unless they chop it off too.

Anyway, back to the soul stealing - every few nights, this watch saps your soul, bit by bit, until one day, when you wake up, you\'re in Hell! I awoke just this morning to the smell of sulfur and brimstone. Upon opening my eyes, I realized I was in Hell, without a soul. I was astounded! I hadn\'t deserved to be down here. But, alas, I was. All because of this stupid watch. The only nice thing is that Satan himself loves my watch. He has been serving me all day, just so that he can get glimpses of my watch.

I did notice that on the side of my watch, there is a small etching which says 666. I\'m not sure what exactly that means. I\'m assuming that it means I have the 666th watch created in this collection. However, I cannot be sure.

Despite stealing my soul and destroying my life, this watch is absolutely horrible at keeping track of time. It loses a second of time for every second passed. I bought it at 4:00pm a few weeks ago, and it appears to still be 4:00pm on that very same day. Hmmm, perhaps that is why I went to Hell. Perhaps I broke free of the space-time continuum, and landed inside Hell. I may try my best to break free of it again and see if I can get back onto earth. If I can figure out the powers of the watch, I may be able to sell this thing on Ebay for much more than I paid for it! Then I can buy me even more of these watches. Perhaps I will give one to each of my Nigerian friends. They can break free of time and see their dead uncle Abazarujabahad-ruh. That would be splendid!

Alas, my time is running short. The time is about up for my watch, so I must go to sleep and let it recharge. If this works well, I will certainly change my review to a 5-star. But for now, a 1-star will suffice, until I can understand more the working complexes of this magnificent watch.

Thank you for allowing me to purchase this watch, thank you for allowing me to go to Hell, and thank you for giving me this wonderful deal on the watch. I love it, but I will certainly miss my SD friends.....at least until I can break the continuum again, once and for all.


It\'s not every day you get to save $60,000 on one purchase. Back when I was married I got this as an anniversary gift for my then wife. It turned out to be a bit big for her so she let me have it. I wear it mostly on casual Fridays, because I don\'t want to scratch up my good watch. Indispensible for keeping track of moon phases. You might wonder what makes a gold watch cost $240k (before discount). Answer: This watch weighs approximately 25 pounds. One thing to note is that there are no numbers for the hours - just solid gold markers, so you have to study it closely to read the time. On the plus side it has a minute repeater so you\'ll never be late unless you fashionably want to be so.

I bought this watch hoping that it would impress a jersey chaser I know with a hot arse! Well it didn\'t because once she saw the watch she wanted me to buy her everything and pay for all her trips to the Final Four and other sporting events where she could dump me and latch on to another rich guy! Problem is I spent all my bank on this watch just to feel that arse and I got nothing! GGG if you are out there.... I LOVE YOU!!!!!
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