收礼

二零零八年,我在康涅狄格州做中文教师, 任教于New Britain 的一所小学, 胡艳任教于一所高中,我们俩的学校属于同一个

学区管辖. 圣诞节前夕的一天, 我在小学教学楼的走廊遇到了学区外语教学的负责人Mr. S. Mr. S 戴着一幅金丝边眼镜,

眼里总 是带着笑意,个子不高, 西装领带光亮的皮鞋,一看就是个细致有条理的人.

Mr. S 每周都会群发给学区所有教师一篇令人鼓舞或富有哲理或生活随感的邮件 . 

彼此照例寒暄预祝节日快乐之后,. Mr. S 递给我一份礼物, 看上去是一盘DVD和一个铅笔盒大小的白色的纸盒子, 细细

的金色丝带系成一个蝴蝶结.我接过礼物, 很是惊喜. Mr. S说:”猜猜看, 是什么礼物?” 我回答说: “是一盘音乐CD 吧”, Mr. S

笑而不答. 我则再次表示了谢意, 由 于接下来快要上课了,再加上中国人都能理解的腼腆与矜持, 我礼节性地道别之后, 拿

着礼物匆匆转身回到了教室.

忙碌的一天尘埃落定, 我好奇地打开礼物包装纸,果然是一盘钢琴曲, 蓝色的封面, 全是经典之作, 其中有我喜欢的圣桑的

天鹅湖. 另外一个盒子里有一个纸卷和一个雪白的贝壳躺在一层闪闪发亮的白色丝绒"沙滩"上,  纸卷的质感和贝壳非

常和谐, 打开纸卷, 是一篇字体优美的散 文, 题目是" Making a difference"大致是说一个男人看到一个小

女孩在 海边 不 停地把海星扔回到海里, 于是问这么多海星, 这样扔是不是于事无补呀?但小女孩 回答说对这个被扔回大

海的海星 而言 ( I made a difference for that one )意义重大. 后来听说这个贝壳是Mr. S 的太太自己 亲手制作的, 简直太

逼真了! 这是我 收到的最别具匠心而且是DIY的 礼物 了!

礼物看完了, 我突然意识到,按照美国文化,应该当面打开礼物, 表示谢意的, 不禁为自己的疏忽感到懊恼和遗憾.....

下学后, 回到住处, 我问同屋在高中任教的胡艳是否也收到了礼物, 她点点头, 我又问:”你当着Mr. S的面,打开礼物了

吗?”

她摇摇头，说 “没有哎”。

我面露喜色,顿时感到释然了。对小艳说：“你瞧,我们虽然早就知道西方文化的做法是当面打开礼物，但是我们真正遇到

了这种场 合，还是难以自然而然地化作行动啊!"  于是两个人你一言我一语地聊开去,  很有认同感。


这个跨文化交际的亲身实例, 说明了尽管人尽皆知中西不同文化中收礼文化的不同. 西方人习惯于当面拆封欣赏；而中国人则恰恰相反，认为当面打开礼物是很不礼貌的. 这种交际中的差异,看似简单容易处理,但在真正操作的时候, 不是知道就能做到, 所以我们每个人都要充分意识到这种文化差异的存在,切实在思想上得到重视,同时要进行必要的操练, 才能在跨文化交际的实战中成功克服自己文化根深蒂固的心理障碍, 达到理想的交际效果.

The Story is so beautiful as follows:

One day a man was walking along the seashore. He noticed that during the night many seashells and starfish had washed up on the shore. Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air, the man strolled for miles along the sand.

Far off in the distance, he saw a small figure dancing. The man was joyous that someone was celebrating life in such a grand and uninhibited manner. As he drew closer, however, it became apparent that the figure was not dancing, but repeatedly performing some act.

Approaching the small figure, the man noticed that it was a child. The girl was methodically picking up starfish from the shore and tossing them back into the surf. The man paused for a moment, puzzled, then asked, "Why are you throwing those starfish back into the ocean?"

"If I leave these starfish on the beach," she replied, "the sun will dry them, and they will die. I am throwing them back into the ocean because I want them to live."

The man was thoughtful for a moment, impressed with the child's thoughtfulness. Then he motioned up and down the miles and miles of beach and said, "There must be millions of starfish along here! How can you possibly expect to make a difference?"

The young girl pondered the man's words for a moment, then she slowly leaned over, reached down, and carefully picked up another starfish from the sand. With a gentle effort, she lobbed the starfish back out into the surf.

She turned to the man and smiled. "You may be right," she said, "but I made a difference for that one!"